Interview with Heetankshi Dharamshi, Living her Parenting Journey
Heetankshi Rushabh Dharamshi is a dynamic person who is always enthusiastic and ready to unlearn and relearn! She is an avid traveler, a mountaineer and a fearless explorer at heart. She was working as a journalist with DNA unearthing social stories bravely. Today she is a full-time Mother of an almost 3-year lovely son and is one of the most loving and positive parents I know!
She along with two other parents has done a lot of research about various styles of learnings and various possibilities of setting up a learning center for children. Their group has established freedom and love based learning space in Mulund west called “ Sanskarkendra “. This center is a safe zone for children to enjoy in a community. It is designed and run by parents, themselves. They meet four days a week for two hours each day. Each day is beautifully filled with free play, songs, stories, dance, open-ended freedom based activities in which parents and children both participate together. I am associated with this center and I feel It is a privilege to be associated with such parents and such a space!
I talk a lot with my child, I kind of share all the possible emotions with him, and now he does so in response. Any small thing he finds is unique, he will always come to me and with excitement in his voice share it with me. For instance when he was about 15 months or so we were playing in a garden and he was so happy to see a flower falling from a tree he clapped, smiled and picked up the flower and gave it to me, I have face captured that look on his face in my heart, and till date he does so and now with obvious question as to why it fell? Where are his mom and dad? Is he hurt? He will complete three in almost a months’ time, we love narrating stories to each other. He changes my name almost every couple of hour from ‘pyaari’ to baali’ to what not! He prefers his freedom and his choice of company over any sort of kid-friendly source of entertainment. We love nature, gardening is the only time when both of us are silent and enjoying our space. No matter how rough the day I have he just makes everything look small and laughable with his statements.
Till date, I have never felt any pressure of making him learn a particular language or any skill maybe that’s why he is able to do and learn everything from around us. We always do what we really are interested in and would love to continue the same. I see kids of his age going to various classes and school, and nothing is wrong with it because each one of us does what they think is in the best interest of their child.
Q: Who is your parenting role model?
I had always dreamt of being a mother may be the chords are connected deep down with my own childhood. I looked up to my mother and loved her the most, as we all do. Till date, I look up to her as she is the star in the sky that never misses smiling with a shine.
My equation with my mother was though short-lived in this world, but she had imbibed very basic clarity of wide possibilities that a human-being must achieve in this lifetime. Be it education, household chores or career. She made me believe that one can master them all. Out of all the choices I have made being a mom makes me feel the strongest.
Q: How did you decide on setting up a learning center for your child? Please share something about Sanskarkendra, the learning space...
So when it came to schooling or no schooling it wasn’t very difficult to choose a group schooling path. Fortunately, I met two such mothers who almost felt the same Monica and Priyanka. Dr.Harsha Kulkarni being the perfect torchbearer to the idea we had in our head and heart. And everything else started falling in place. With a lot of research, we could materialize this idea of a learning center. A happy, fearless and a trustworthy environment is the first step to setting up a space for children. Then comes the mindful designs of each day that is filled with freedom. Here we have set up an environment where children feel at home. All the children and even parents literally forward to coming here each day. The activities are designed guided by children’s current interests and all the activities are through play, community-based, open-ended to maximize freedom, choice and preserve the love for learning. We all go outdoors together each week. All the parents brainstorm every month to plan ahead. We along with many other parents meet every week for discussing and sharing parenting insights at ‘PARENTING inward journey’.
Q: Any challenges in parenting? Any learnings you have because of that challenge?
For me the most challenging aspect is his illness and the recovery phase, I used to literally be in tears while dealing with it. But one thing that I have realized for sure in these three years is that all his crankiness or discomfort whenever it appears it’s never without a reason. I now try to look into the cause and try to comfort him.
Q: Any message you would like to give to all parents?
The bond that he has with me is only because of the respect and security that has come along with the treatment we give to each other. So, yes, I feel Parents should prioritize on bonding and building a trustful and respectful relationship with their children before anything else!
Q: Any book that particularly left an impact on you?
A book in Guajarati titled as “Tamara balko ni mansik khilamni” (nourishment of your child’s mental health) has been the biggest treasure to understand various nuances.
Q: Anything else, you would like to add?
To be loved unconditionally is a quality that I adore about kids. It’s such fun to relive childhood along with your child. Being able to nurture is the best feeling and being able to love is the best blessing. May we all stay blessed.
Thank you Heetankshi ! There is a lot to learn from you!
-(An interview by Dr. Harsha D. Kulkarni)
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